For the past 9 months I have been in transition. Transition from changing jobs, a lot, transition from moving to a whole new area, transition again from changing jobs. But now I think for the most part I’m transitioned and I’ve never felt more uneasy.
For the first time in a while I have a job that interest me and is helping me learn skills to grow my own business. I don’t dread getting out of the bed in the morning and my weeks go by quickly. I bought a eco friendly car so driving 35 mins each way to work is also not an issue. I got a gym membership and go everyday before work. I have a weekly date with a girlfriend to have drinks at the local pub. I am even seeing a nice guy, although not very often but at least there is some regular sex and companionship in my life. So what now?
I never thought I would miss the days of not knowing what was going to happen, or being so stressed and overwhelmed that all I did was eat popcorn while applying for jobs. Craiglist use to be my life source. I was on it all day, searching for every aspect of my new life. I applied to every job that I may remotely be qualified for and when I finally found one I searched endlessly for a place to live. Once I got the job and found the place, the real fun began.
Moving is always a pain in the ass and stressful, but moving four hours away to what feels like an entirely new world is a whole different can of worms. For the most part things fell into place but that was not without a lot of crying, swearing and alienating all of my loved ones. For over a week I lived out of boxes and bags all over my apartment, I wasn’t completely ready to accept what I had done. I knew I couldn’t go back, but I also wasn’t sold on staying. Then things got a little more comfortable and once again I caused need for a transition.
I’ve been at my job for almost two months and things are good. There is still a lot I need to learn but I’ve become comfortable in my surroundings. I’ve found a favorite coffee shop and even take the shortcut to work. I’ll never be considered a local by any means…that’s harder than being a local in the northeast, but I’ve become comfortable in all of my surroundings. But last night when I walked into the pub and my friend was telling this guy about how amazing I was because I have moved, not only from Tahoe, but from Vermont I wanted nothing more than to keep going. It’s become a sense of pride for me, that I can completely uproot my life, find new jobs, meet new people, develop new routines and now I don’t know how long I want to sit still. I use to think that all I wanted was to find a great guy and build a life together, in a nice place. Now all I seem to want to do is keep exploring, now that I can call it exploring and not running. Transitions are hard, but sitting still is proving to be even harder. I guess the new challenge is to see how long I can last until I want to start all over again.