Transitioned…now what?

For the past 9 months I have been in transition.  Transition from changing jobs, a lot, transition from moving to a whole new area, transition again from changing jobs.  But now I think for the most part I’m transitioned and I’ve never felt more uneasy.

For the first time in a while I have a job that interest me and is helping me learn skills to grow my own business.  I don’t dread getting out of the bed in the morning and my weeks go by quickly.  I bought a eco friendly car so driving 35 mins each way to work is also not an issue.  I got a gym membership and go everyday before work.  I have a weekly date with a girlfriend to have drinks at the local pub.  I am even seeing a nice guy, although not very often but at least there is some regular sex and companionship in my life.  So what now?

I never thought I would miss the days of not knowing what was going to happen, or being so stressed and overwhelmed that all I did was eat popcorn while applying for jobs.  Craiglist use to be my life source.  I was on it all day, searching for every aspect of my new life.  I applied to every job that I may remotely be qualified for and when I finally found one I searched endlessly for a place to live.  Once I got the job and found the place, the real fun began.

Moving is always a pain in the ass and stressful, but moving four hours away to what feels like an entirely new world is a whole different can of worms.  For the most part things fell into place but that was not without a lot of crying, swearing and alienating all of my loved ones.  For over a week I lived out of boxes and bags all over my apartment, I wasn’t completely ready to accept what I had done.  I knew I couldn’t go back, but I also wasn’t sold on staying.   Then things got a little more comfortable and once again I caused need for a transition.

I’ve been at my job for almost two months and things are good.  There is still a lot I need to learn but I’ve become comfortable in my surroundings.  I’ve found a favorite coffee shop and even take the shortcut to work.  I’ll never be considered a local by any means…that’s harder than being a local in the northeast, but I’ve become comfortable in all of my surroundings.  But last night when I walked into the pub and my friend was telling this guy about how amazing I was because I have moved, not only from Tahoe, but from Vermont I wanted nothing more than to keep going.  It’s become a sense of pride for me, that I can completely uproot my life, find new jobs, meet new people, develop new routines and now  I don’t know how long I want to sit still.  I use to think that all I wanted was to find a great guy and build a life together, in a nice place. Now all I seem to want to do is keep exploring, now that I can call it exploring and not running.  Transitions are hard, but sitting still is proving to be even harder.  I guess the new challenge is to see how long I can last until I want to start all over again.


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About D.D.W

Life can be a little hard at times, I write about it to make it a little less painful.

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