Text to Reject
There was a time when people had to verbally reject you. This was good for two reasons, first of all it made them really have to deal with their actions, the words had to come out of their months and they had to hear the other person react. There is nothing more heart wrenching than hearing a girl sob after being broken up with. The other good thing was that for those being rejected, we could over time, twist the words, we could convince ourselves that it wasn’t so bad, or on the other hand that it was terrible and that the rejector was a heartless beast. Someone we could be relieved to be rid of…or at least tell ourselves that was the case.
Now however, now it’s down in writing when someone rejects you. Actually everything pertaining to a relationship tends to be in writing now and easily accessible. Between texts, emails, and depending on how crazy you are, facebook, most of the relationship is documented. From the first time you make plans to go out to the final text of rejection. So it’s impossible to remember it differently, to warp the words so they didn’t sound so harsh, or maybe they didn’t mean what they said. No now all one has to do is pull out the phone or laptop and see exactly the moment they were rejected.
Mine came as a complete surprize, it was preluded with a nice “How are you” and then went right into a long text that ended with “just not long term. I’m sorry.” And like that, with one press of the send button my thoughts of building a future with someone were crushed. I tried to just read it once, tried to accept the rejection as quick as possible. But I needed to respond so there it was staring me in the face…”NOT LONG TERM!”. Silly me for thinking that after dating for over a month, with several sleepovers and wonderful nights that he might at least pick up the phone to reject me. Instead it’s just there, in writing, to haunt me. Eventually I will delete every correspondence and picture sent, but for right now it’s still there staring at me. It’s amazing how words on a screen can yell louder than any person I’ve ever known.