I remember being younger and pretending that I lived in a big house with a dog and a family, now as an adult I still pretend. I have gotten into a never ending obligation of being the person who watches everyone lives while they go on vacation. It started simply enough, just watching my boss’s puppy while they visited their daughter in Hawaii. That puppy is now three and a half years old and I’m still watching him. Unfortunately being responsible has only left the door wide open to every other animal owner in my life to request my services.
At first I loved the idea of house sitting, it gave me a break from my current roommate and typically the houses I get to stay in are nicer than any place I could ever afford. I love having dogs to run with and play with. But slowly I began to notice that if I stayed at someone’s house for too long I began to not only get depressed but also resentful. I have begun to hate taking care of the every day task while other people actually get to enjoy the fun parts of life. Not only is it disheartening that I haven’t been on a real vacation in over six years, but now I feel as though people only see me as someone to water their plants and walk their dogs. Even my best friend was not so jokingly talking about how she needs to check with my boss about her schedule in the spring because her and her boy friend are going on vacation and want to make sure I will be available to watch her dog. Stupid me, at first I thought she was going to invite me on her trip to Hawaii, but no I’m just needed to once again take care of the dog.
On top of feeling like I only have one purpose to even my closest friends, I then have to actually pretend to live their lives, by myself. While they are all off with their loved ones, I am all alone. My boss has a huge house that is meant for a family and instead it’s just me there, left to think about how alone I am. If I stay there more then a few nights I start to get so depressed thinking about how my life will never be that way. I don’t think I will ever own a house, let alone a big beautiful one. It’s not looking like I will ever have a family of my own, or anything for anyone to ever watch if I ever did get to go on vacation. Basically being thrown into others peoples lives just makes me realize everything that I am missing. It’s not as if I don’t realize these things on a daily basis but when you are waking up at five in the morning to take someone else’s dog for a walk it really hits home. I will only ever get the mundane responsibilities of playing house, but never the rewarding parts of actual having a home life of my own.