I Loath the Love Seat

I own a love seat and now a recent addition of a hideous green chair that swivels and leans back way to far. This is where I choose to sit in my little apartment, the ugly green chair that makes me feel as though I am going to fall over every time I lean back. I have found that often in my life I choose the things are just made for one person. When I broke up with my boyfriend of three years and stayed with my parents for a few weeks I could only sleep on the couch even though my father told me repeatedly that the guest room was all made up and that he didn’t want me drooling all over his nice furniture. I could not bare to sleep in the queen bed with the pillows for two.
When I decided to move out of my last place with my friend it was because she is in a wonderfully loving relationship with a guy she will most likely marry. Although I love them both I could no longer sit there night after night as they planed out their dinner and what they were going to do on the weekend. Every night the three of us would sit in the living room, me in an old leather lazy boy and them on the couch, hugging and talking to each other as if they were five. When I finally told my friend that I could no longer live in a house with her and her boyfriend I found the worlds smallest place to move into.
My apartment is a tiny little mother in law unit in the back yard of a rental house. It has no stove, but I don’t like to just cook for one anyway. The bathroom is small enough that I would be able shower, brush my teeth and do my make up all at the same time. My refrigerator would never suffice for a normal person but I really don’t feel the need to have to much food in my house. I looked at a lot of other places before moving here, this one just felt right. I didn’t realize it until I got everything in and then didn’t want anyone who I wasn’t very close with to see it, that I moved here because this place is for one person.
I have a fear of to much space, space that is meant for two people. I know someday I want to live in a normal size apartment and feel comfortable on a love seat, but I just don’t think those things are made for me. I sleep at the very edge of my bed every night, curled up in a little ball almost falling off. I’m surprised that I haven’t resorted to sleeping in a twin bed. I fear that the longer I stay single the more accustom to my ‘made for one’  life style I will become. Will I even want to sit on the love seat if the opportunity arose? Will I resent having to go grocery shopping so I can cook dinner? Maybe I am just meant for this life of one.

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About D.D.W

Life can be a little hard at times, I write about it to make it a little less painful.

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