All I can do is laugh as I hang the shower head over the back of the toilet basin. The water is far to scalding hot to be able to actually stand under it and since the cold water pipes are frozen I decided to use the really hot water to fill up the toilet so I can flush it. I wait until the hot water has run out enough to be able to stand under it. Now it’s just a matter of showering fast enough before the water gets to cold. The whole scenario is beyond ridiculous and although I find humor in it I can’t help but be saddened by the fact that I’m all alone.
I am aware, on a daily basis, that I am all alone. However it is not until things start to go wrong that I get really sad and resentful that I am all alone. It started a few days ago when my internet stopped working. I know that it seems pathetic that such a small thing can upset me but for me it is my background noise, to stop the feeling of being all alone. If I am home I have noise on and that comes from stupid shows on hulu or Pandora. So when I don’t have the internet I don’t have a distraction from my thoughts. Having no internet I decided that I would make use of my time and make a face mask that I saw on Pinterest, yes another need for the internet. This face mask is a combination of coffee grounds and other things. I slop it on my face and wait for it to do it’s trick. Then I turn on the shower as I get undressed, but something is a miss, the water does not seem to be draining. At this point the egg whites that are in the face mask are beginning to make my face hurt. I have to get into the shower and get this shit off of my face before my skin falls off. But there is no safety drain on the shower because I live in a make shift shoe box of an apartment. I jump in and try to shower as quick as possible. The coffee grounds are sticking to the shower wall and curtain as the water starts to flow over onto the bathroom floor. I stop the shower with gobs of conditioner still in my hair. I run into the kitchen to grab the largest Tupperware I have to start scooping the coffee ground soapy water into the toilet so I can flush it. At this point the coffee grounds have made their way to the inside of the toilet bowl and all over the floor. The conditioner is starting to drip into my eyes and I decided the best way to rinse my hair is in the kitchen sink. I have no idea what to do about the drain, it had been working fine the day before. I get down on my knees and stare into the murky water and start a combination of laughing and crying. This would be the case for the following four days.
I was able to unfreeze or unclog the drain with a really scary chemical that took the nail polish off my fingers just by holding the bottle. I was so relieved that I could once again shower but within a 24 hour period the temperature dropped down to negative 15 and I woke up to no cold water. Without the cold water I could not flush the toilet, hence placing the shower head over the back of the toilet basin to kill two birds with one stone.
The thing is that I can handle all of this, I can figure things out and solve these stupid issues but I just don’t want to do it alone anymore. What is the point of having all these bazaar things happen without having someone to laugh with, or having someone to cry to? It’s not that I need a man to come in a save the day but it would be nice to know that I have somewhere to shower when everything freezes. I feel as though I have proved myself time and time again. I am a very capable human being who can handle most things that life has to throw at me. But at what point am I going to have someone to go through all of life’s shitty times with? When is karma going to be on my side and make all of these terrible times seem worth it?